small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
