absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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