made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
