My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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