i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The chlamydia really affected his face.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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