you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Randomize
