It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
