What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
