Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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