I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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