How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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