I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
