you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
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Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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