So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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