Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
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