I think scott just propositioned me for sex
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I just blew my weed a kiss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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