i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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