I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.