I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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