my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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