there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
This is not my ceiling
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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