Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
