One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
