Whod you bang
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
My pussy is not your playground.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
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