so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
