This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
