this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
