I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
