Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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