Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
