i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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