I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
