i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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