Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Damn victory sex feels great
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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