omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
