I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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