I look better un-naked...
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
