Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
