Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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