We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
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the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
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well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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