Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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