absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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