is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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