I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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