Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
