i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
she told me i tasted like america
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
