Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
