wat bout pragnant strippers??
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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