We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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