I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize