nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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