Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
A+ Viking dick
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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