Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize