I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
