Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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