I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
