yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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