their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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