I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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